Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Tinted Windows

What's the deal with tinted windows. I found I had to have them.

I have been driving Granny Ruth's car, my Mom's car, now my car for quite a few weeks.



It is a Great Car. It is a 2002 Toyota Avalon with all the goodies EXCEPT tinted windows. It has the most spectacular sound system and plushy leather seats. The suspension must be extra special 'cause it rides like a cloud. Cecil was a dream boat when he picked it out, I knew I loved him, what a great stepdad. Did I mention that we started screaming when we found out the radio told you the name of the songs as it played and you can put six CD's at once. woohooo! I am in stereo heaven.

Two problems with the car though. You may be surprised that I have a problem with the fact that the car has very prominent handicap plates. For some reason I feel like everyone is staring at me like I have a pirate peg leg. I feel like I should roll out an iron lung at every parking lot. Now don't get me wrong, I have been raised with too much guilt to park in a handicap spot. We carried Doris too long who was actually in a wheelchair for me to block a spot that I don't deserve. (and don't any of you do it either) So I'm itching for my Laminack plates to come in and for me to appear to be an average Joe.

Second bigger problem -Which is - no - tinted windows. I had a creepy crawly feeling of being in a fish bowl on my thirty minute drive to work every day. Just look around we live in a tinted car window world. Every SUV, truck, minivan has dark, darker windows. It is a mystery what might be going on inside those cars. Smokin', drinkin', lascivious behavior, children drivin', asleep at the wheel, eatin', drinkin' talking on multiple cell phones, reading books and maps, yelling at the kids, scratchin', personal hygiene, etc. Well, I've been wanting to do all those things and people kept honking and pointing. SOOOO, I got my tint job and it was no big deal. I strolled in to Artech and acted like I get it done every day. I made fast friends with the two fellows waiting there and even wandered over to Half Price books and bought two books.

I chose the Medium tint with the Superior quality to avoid fading and scratching. Excellent! I look like a high class Americano. I can now roll my cigarettes and read "Of Mice and Men" and adjust the radio, and call all my children on my drive home everyday. I look with disdain at my fellow drivers with shabby light or 'tisk' non-tinted windows. And about those bubbled up tinted windows, the nerve! Let's have coffee, we'll talk.

4 comments:

nairb said...

Tinted winsows are greatness. First for the obvious reduction in heat. The best reason is anonymity. My company sent me to Las Vegas last year for several days. I got saddled with a car without tinting. It was no big deal for heat because the A/C on this car rocked. The problem this was a tiny embarrasingly small car with large windows. Everyone could see what I was doing (which wasn't anything). Mostly it was embarassing that they could see me driving this tiny embarassing model vhicle so well.

Joanie said...

Tinted windows BUG me! Now...from the inside of the car...it's no big deal...I can take them or leave them. From the outside of the car - I hate them! What is everyone doing that is so dadgum private? Our cars have all come with the back windows tinted but never the driver's or front passenger's window...so it ain't no big thang to me. Now I'm going to be wondering what in the world M.C. is doing behind her tinted windows. Hmmmm...makes me wonder!

Trey Laminack said...

tinted is a must. That way the cops can't see you making funny faces at them.

Emily said...

I think this post should go in the blog hall of fame! Just enough real stuff to not be stupid but just pointless enough to be really entertaining. If only I could find that delicate balance the way you do daily.